Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Walmart is selling 'Destroy Capitalism' by Banksy prints

Corporation is selling alleged prints of graffiti artist's work for $57.99 to $868.99.
The absurdity of the situation was not lost on the Twitterverse:
Source: UPI

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Facebook Nixes Talk of Faggots and Peas in the Black Country

First the terminology: the Black Country is an area of the English West Midlands, north and west of Birmingham and south and east of Wolverhampton.

As for fag and faggot, in England a fag is a cigarette, whereas faggot is a traditional dish made from pork, often pig's heart, liver, belly meat and/or bacon all minced together and served with peas.

Keeping that last bit in mind, perhaps Facebook's decision would be more understandable if nutritional concerns were behind it.

Regardless, here's the tale of a Facebook user in Britain who has been persecuted due to her waxing poetic online about Mr. Brain's Faggots and Peas:
Wendy Jones from Cradley Heath was one of the first people to learn that people were being banned for referring to ‘faggots’.
She said: “I couldn’t believe it when I heard people were being banned. We were only talking about the food we loved. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous.”
And she claimed members had also been banned for saying they were from the Black Country, as it contravenes the website’s policy on racist posts.
“All of my family love faggots and peas and we are always having them,” added the 45-year-old mother-of-six. “I think something needs to be done, as people will just keep getting banned.”
Another regular user who says she was banned was Janet Wilkinson, also from Tipton.
She said: “Faggots have been around for more than 100 years and while I appreciate it may have a different meaning in other countries, to us it’s just a type of food.”
A spokesman for Facebook claimed a single post had been removed due to an error, adding no-one should have been banned and all users should find their accounts back up.
If you are curious about how to prepare the cardiac arresting dish, here's a BBC video clip of the late chef Keith Floyd mincing away with the Faggot King in a kitchen full of lovely, hot faggots:


By the way, Keith Floyd was a chain smoking, hard drinking TV chef, who died from a heart attack on September 14, 2009 only a few hours after a lunch to celebrate being given the all clear from bowel cancer.

Bon appetit! 

Friday, November 8, 2013

Woman visiting cemetery shocked when hand comes out of grave and she discovers man buried alive (Video)

In scenes reminiscent of zombie horror movies, a man emerged from a grave in Brazil waving his hands and arms about.


According to Brazilian media reports, a woman visiting a family grave had the shock of her life when part of a living human body came from a tomb, waving his arms around. The woman was in a cemetery in the suburb of Ferraz de Vasconcelos, Sao Paulo, when she heard faint noises, then noticed the earth moving in a pit nearby.

"I was terrified to see a man who I thought was dead, trying to get out of the grave," the petrified woman told Brazilian media.

He had managed to push his head and hands out and was moving his arms, trying to get out. The woman immediately called emergency services, who found the man still half buried in the plot when they arrived. The rescuers removed the dirt covering the rest of his body and lifted him out.

In these images taken from Brazilian television, the man seems almost lifeless, but is found by an emergency worker to be breathing. He was taken to a local hospital. The identity and health status of the man have not been disclosed.

Reports are that the man was a former employee of the city. The director of the cemetery confirmed that the unidentified man had been buried alive. Police are said to be investigating whether the burial was a mistake or a criminal act.

It is believed the incident took place this past November 1, or All Saints Day — the day in between Halloween and the Day of the Dead.

Man loses arm in fortune cookie factory

Talk about bad luck:
A 55-year-old man’s left arm was severed in an industrial accident at a Seattle fortune cookie company this afternoon after he became stuck in a machine up to his chest, said Kyle Moore, a spokesman for the Seattle Fire Department.

Medics arrived at the Tsue Chong Co. at 800 S. Weller St., in Seattle’s Chinatown International District, within three minutes of receiving a 911 call at 12:15 p.m., Moore said...

Firefighters were able to quickly free him and transported the man to Harborview Medical Center along with his severed arm, said Moore, who didn’t know whether doctors would be able to reattach the limb.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Man shot at 'Stop the Violence' basketball tournament

This past weekend in lovely Alabama:

Police received a 911 call Saturday at 6:35 p.m. about a shooting at the Phyllis Wheatley Community Center, a former school in Childersburg where the basketball tournament was taking place.

One shot was fired, and Donterius Riggins, 19, of Sylacauga was hit in the neck, said Childersburg Police Department Sgt. Donald Elkins.

“There was an altercation between him and several other men,” Elkins said.

Riggins was first transported by personal vehicle to Coosa Valley Medical Center in Sylacauga, and later transferred by ambulance to University Hospital.

“As of yesterday he was still in UAB in very stable condition,” Elkins said.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Spain's 17-cent king: Europe's cheapest monarch

OLÉ LOL!
Spain's ruling party has defended the government's budget for the country's royal family, saying the royal house costs each Spaniard a low 17 Euro cents (23 cents US) a year.

The Spanish Government on Tuesday talked up its decision to provide €7.78 million to the royal family as part of the country's 2014 budget, Spain's Huffington Post reported. This is down 1.8 percent from the €7.93 million destined for the royal purse in 2013. 

"Defending the budget of His Majesty is the easiest thing in the world," said Juan Manuel Albendea, a spokesperson on budgetary matters for Spain's ruling conservative Popular Party (PP).

The politician added he felt "lucky" to be able to support a royal budget which was the "most austere" in Europe.

He then cited figures from his own party's research showing that the British Monarchy had a budget of €46.6 million, while that figure was €12 million in both Denmark and Sweden and more than €8 million in Luxembourg.

With 46.7 million people in Spain, the budget for the country's royal family comes to just 17 cents per Spaniard per year, Albendea said.

The comments came in response to requests from other parties that the monarch's budget be slashed next year.
Source: The Local

Monday, November 4, 2013

Mystery surrounds death of 37-year-old man who collapsed after opening ‘Pandora’s box’

A strange, and rather sad, story from Carlisle, England:
Jason Airey was found slumped unconscious by his parents in the bedroom of their Carlisle home in May this year. A box bearing the words ‘Pandora’s box’ was beside him.

An inquest into his death heard how no drugs were found in his system and the box – which bore the inscription in red letters – contained unused synthetic cannabis. Coroner Robert Chapman said a post mortem showed Jason’s heart had stopped beating, causing his organs to fail – but they would probably never know why. He never regained consciousness and died in the Cumberland Infirmary two days later.

His father, Dennis Airey, told the inquest that Jason had been in a happy mood when he returned to the family home in Crossways, Harraby, on May 2.

“He was just his normal self,” he said. “He had been shopping and said he was going upstairs to get changed.”

[A short while later he] found his son slumped on his knees, face down. Paramedics and an ambulance was called and Mr Airey started CPR, he said. The paramedics worked on Jason for an hour before he was taken to hospital.

His father said he found “a little packet” inside ‘Pandora’s box’ and thought it was cannabis but “it didn’t smell”. Mr Chapman said tests later revealed it was synthetic cannabis.
“I thought [the box] had just been opened,” Mr Airey said.

Mr Chapman said toxicology tests had found no trace of drugs in Jason’s system and ruled that he died of natural causes.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Nazi Gestapo chief buried in mass grave in Jewish cemetery? (Video)

EuroNews transcript:

Could a Jewish memorial site in Berlin be the burial place for the head of the Gestapo who disappeared after World War II?

There are claims from a German historian in a tabloid newspaper that Heinrich Mueller, who ran the Nazis' secret police, did not escape the fall of the Third Reich as was rumoured.

Professor Johannes Tuchel, head of the German Resistance Memorial Centre, says Mueller died in Berlin where he ended up in a mass grave in what had been a Jewish cemetery in Grosse Hamburger Strasse.

Destroyed by the Nazis during the war, it is now a memorial site.

"He (Mueller) was responsible with Himmler, Hitler and Heydrich up to 1942 for a lot of mass crimes. He was deeply involved in the Holocaust, he was a member of the Wannsee Conference in 1942 and he was also responsible for the mass killings of Soviet prisoners of war," Tuchel said.

Senior Nazis used the Wannsee Conference to plan the implementation of the extermination of the Jews.

After the war, various reports said the Gestapo chief had either died in Berlin, or that he had escaped to ex-Czechoslovakia or South America.

The historian says he found new identity documents showing the Gestapo chief did indeed perish in the German capital during the final days of the war in 1945.

He also re-examined evidence from a grave-digger after the war who remembered burying a man in a general's uniform.

A prominent Nazi hunter, Efraim Zuroff of the Simon Wiesenthal Centre, has said that only DNA evidence will provide proof of what happened to Mueller.

Germany's main Jewish federation, the Central Council of Jews, issued a statement saying that a "brutal Nazi" buried in a Jewish cemetery was "an insult to the memory of the victims".