New York Police ask bars not to serve Santa

From New York City:

"He sees you when you’re barfing — and knows when you’re passed out.
"The impending arrival of SantaCon led an NYPD lieutenant to call humbug on the annual, pre-Chistmas pub crawl, urging bar owners in his Manhattan precinct to ban the cockeyed Kris Kringles. The pie-eyed naughty outnumbered the white-bearded nice at last year’s holiday bacchanal, said Lt. John Cocchi of the Midtown North Precinct.

 

“ 'Having thousands of intoxicated partygoers roam the streets urinating, littering, vomiting and vandalizing will not be tolerated in our neighborhood,' Cocchi wrote to the bar owners.

“ 'The negative impact that this event will bring to your community will far outweigh the short-term benefit to your establishment.'

"The ho-ho-hold-on-there letter went out to about 30 bars and clubs in Midtown and Hell’s Kitchen. Local residents had visions of stumblebums dance in their heads after the revelers descended on watering holes in Cocchi’s precinct during the 2012 SantaCon.

“ 'What do you tell a 5-year-old when they see a Santa passed out on the street, or carried by his buddies, or vomiting or defecating in front of the house?' asked Bob Miner, co-chair of the HK 50-51 Block Association. 'We all grow up, but there’s no reason kids have to learn the truth about Santa that way.' ”

Man burned friend alive for drinking his last four beers

From Darwin, Australia:

Gary Stewart Miles has pleaded not guilty to murdering Paul John Stamp, 47, on September 19 last year.
The men had been drinking at home when Mr Stamp was warned not to take any of Mr Miles' remaining beers.
He drank the last four. When this was discovered, Mr Miles and his friend Gregory Channing beat Mr Stamp, breaking eight ribs and causing extensive internal injuries.
They dragged him into the car boot and drove to an industrial area, where they planned to "teach him a lesson" by dumping him to find his own way home.
But the car ran out of petrol and when the pair returned with fuel, Mr Miles allegedly poured it all over the car and ignited it.
Channing was found guilty in September of assaulting Mr Stamp and depriving him of liberty and is serving a five-and-a-half-year sentence.
Channing told the Northern Territory Supreme Court on Tuesday that Mr Miles had snapped when they had returned to the car, shouting "I'm going to kill this c---" as he doused the car in petrol.

Snake, crcodile and dugong abuser fined in Australia again

His name is Beau Daniel Cleland Greaves and on Friday he was fined fined $6000 for hugging and sitting on a dugong in Australia's Great Barrier Reef. This comes after being fined in May for wrestling a crocodile.

The latest incident occurred in August 2011 when Greaves, 23, was working on a crayfish trawler in Princess Charlotte Bay and jumped into the water to pose for photos with the animal. He later posted  images on Facebook and other social media sites that showed him hugging the dugong, swimming with it and sitting on its tail.

The Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority frowns on such things, so after receiving a tip about the photos, launched an investigation which led to last weeks court case and fine.

Last May, Greaves was fined $4500 after he posted photos and a video showing him wrestling a crocodile on Hicks Island near Lockhart River. In that incident, which also took place in 2011, a 21-year-old friend by the name of Theodore Peter Hewish also received a fine, this one for $1000, for filming Greaves wrestling the croc.

Greaves was described to the court as a serial offender, who had also previously been in trouble for taking pythons and sea snakes and posing with them in photos.

Although it seems he has removed, or at least made private, Facebook pictures of himself with the dugong and crocodile, a photo of him with the python remains, as you can see above. It has a caption that reads: "don't play with big snakes they bite harder."

The photo of a naked and bloodied-looking Greaves below appears on the Facebook page of a friend, with a comment from Greaves that explains (?!), "thats the work of our friendly little pet grogsy he loves biting naked drunk people."

Man must apologize to police officer for taking a dump cruiser

Policing: it's a dirty job, but somebody's go to do it: From the Lowell Sun in Massachusetts:

A 66-year-old Nashua man was placed on probation and must write a letter of apology to a state trooper after admitting to driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol on Route 3 in Chelmsford, then left "a present" in the back seat of a State Police cruiser after he was arrested.

In Lowell District Court on Wednesday, Edward Carroll, of 909 St. James Place, admitted to sufficient facts to charges of operating under the influence of drugs, operating under the influence of alcohol, wanton destruction of property, assault and battery on a police officer, and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon...

On Feb. 10 a state trooper stopped Carroll and arrested him for suspicion of driving while under the influence.

Carroll allegedly struggled when he was placed in the rear of the cruiser and allegedly kicked the trooper. The trooper used a baton to strike Carroll in the shin to prevent him from kicking further... 

While in the cruiser's back seat, Carroll allegedly spit in the car and defecated in his pants.As he was removed from the cruiser, Carroll allegedly laughed in the trooper's face and told him he left "a present" in the backseat.

Carroll allegedly continued to be unruly in the station. A company had to be a called in to decontaminate the cruiser and the holding cell.

Ewww.

Man who nearly drowned in sea ‘probably saved by beers,’ paramedics say, but coast guard insist 'don’t go swimming if you have been drinking'

Conflicting messages from authorities in Kent, England:

A man left close to death after leaping from the Herne Bay pier into the sea may have been saved by the eight beers he drank before jumping.

He and a pal stripped to their underwear and plunged into the cold water after a drinking session. But the foolish pair had to be rescued by emergency crews after struggling for 45 minutes to get ashore. 

One of the men was pulled to safety with a life ring by police, while the other, who had lost consciousness, was dragged in by coastguard deputy station manager Matt Stickels. He says the hapless duo are lucky to be alive.

“They were so cold and had been in the water for about 45 minutes. If someone hadn’t thrown in the life rings, then in my experience it would’ve ended in a fatality.

“I went in to get the second man because I didn’t know how long it would take for the lifeboat to arrive. He had had eight cans of beer. The paramedics said that it probably kept him alive, because his body had slowed down so much that it might have helped him.

“He was in an unconscious state. The ambulance team had to be careful and keep him horizontal because he was prone to a heart attack.

“We want to get across the important warning – don’t go swimming if you have been drinking.”

Wait, now I get it: don't go swimming if you've been drinking unless you've had enough to keep you unconscious until the coast guard and paramedics arrive.

Source: Kent Online

Chainsaw Massacre Averted in Bar Fight When Man’s Tool Stalls (Video)

An angry man in the town of Auburn, California brought a chainsaw into a bar to continue a fight that had begun earlier — but the machine refused to cooperate.

  

Weston Cecil Burton, 31, was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon. He is out on bail. No word about the current status of his chainsaw.

New York State Criminal Justice Official Arrested for Driving While Drunk and Naked

"Ronald Dickens, a 48-year-old deputy director at the state Division of Criminal Justice Services, was arrested before dawn on Sunday morning by State Police on charges of public lewdness and first-offense driving while intoxicated — both misdemeanors.

"The arrest was made at 5:46 a.m. Sunday at the rest area on the northbound side of I-87 near Exit 18 in Queensbury, according to police.

"The investigator handling the case said Dickens was allegedly seen parking his vehicle at the rest area and emerging naked from his car. He was the sole occupant."

Via the Times Union

Two drunk, unlicensed drivers arrested driving the same vehicle minutes apart.

Sounds like a bit of police incompetence in Australia's Northern Territory.

According to the NT News, the cops first pulled over the Toyota Hilux pickup truck for speeding in the town of Patterson at around 10pm last night. The 22-year-old female driver, who only had a learner's permit, was reportedly doing 100km/h (62 mp/h) in an 80km/h (49 mp/h) zone and gave a .112 on her roadside breathalyzer reading.

Then 15 minutes later, police again pulled over the same truck about 17 kilometers (10.5 miles) away, in the town of Tivendale. This time it seems an unlicensed 27-year-old man was driving and his test returned a reading of .203.

Now, how could the same vehicle be pulled over by police 15 minutes later unless the police let the drunker of the two take off in the truck after the first stop?

Unfortunately, the NT News article sheds no light on this, whatsoever.